Why Nice Guys (and Gals) Can Finish First

There is a misconception among many that in order to get ahead, you need to become a bad person. Theres an impression some people have that only jerks get the girl (or guy) and that it takes a psychopath to get ahead in business.
I strongly believe that this isnt true and Im going to outline in this post why the nice guy or gal really can finish first and in fact often will.

The Friendzone

Lets start by looking at one of the most classic examples of this nice guy phenomenon. We all know the story of the doting best friend who is in love with a girl. He compliments her, comforts her when she feels down and pines after her quietly. Meanwhile, she keeps going out with jerks. This classic story has convinced many that the only way to get women is to be a jerk to them! In fact, thats pretty much the whole concept behind many pickup strategies. Take negging for instance, which is intended to make a woman feel a little bad about herself so that the guy appears like hes out of her league.

Not nice.

But Ive got something to throw a spanner in the works and to challenge this story.
What if the nice guy isnt necessarily nice at all? He just lacks confidence? After all, all that doting and comforting is really self-motivated: he wants the girl to fall in love with him/sleep with him. And shes well aware of this.
Or perhaps he really is selfless and doting but he just lacks the confidence and the charisma of those bad guys. Its not that hes nice. Its that hes not cool.

Now imagine the perfect jock. A ripped, muscular, highly successful, well dressed man who is confident, funny and edgy. Except he also gets on really well with all her friends, hes outgoing, hes fun, hes romantic and hes sweet.
That is what women want. They want confidence and they want a guy to be nice. 

And this is the same for guys too. A lot of guys like the cover model look. They like women to wear sexy clothes and be well presented. And perhaps they miss the brainy girl in their office for this reason.

But all too often they are disappointed that looks are skin deep and so those relationships dont last.

There is no guy on Earth who wouldnt be more impressed by a woman who was confident, flirtatious, fun, sexy and a little edgy  but also happened to be extremely nice, supportive and intelligent.

This is even the case at work. Yes, it seems that cutthroat individuals tend to get ahead but often thats because theyre not afraid to put themselves out there. Almost any employer would rather hire someone they liked and could get on with  if only they took the same chances!
So, stop blaming the fact that youre nice. Thats the wimpy way out. In most cases, its just the fact that you need a little more confidence.
